How to give a bad science talk

Amongst his one page guides John Wilkins [my postdoc supervisor] has
Guidelines for giving a truly terrible talk

"Strict adherence to the following time-􏰀tested guidelines will ensure that both you and your work remain obscure and will guarantee an audience of minimum size at your next talk􏰁."

Independently, David Sholl has illustrated the problems in concrete ways with an actual talk "The Secrets of Memorably Bad Presentations"

 

I am not sure if it is funny or just plain painful. But it does drive home the points.
All students (and some faculty) should be forced to watch it in full.